In relationships, it’s common for us to forget exactly who our significant other really is. Many of us are used to creating a construct of who we want our significant other to be, and behind our imagination, we commonly forget who that person actually is.
As a woman, growing up and imagining another human being other than our mother or father loving us seemed spectacular. We set standards at a young age, picturing what the love of our life may look like. Sometimes, we even set those standards in stone, and only look for a certain type of man; that is, according to what we think we like. We close our options off to other men who don’t fit what we think we are looking for. If your interests are only sparked by tall men with dark hair and blue eyes, you won’t have any interest in the blonde guy attempting to buy you a drink at the bar– and that’s just the way our brains work as women and as humans in general. We create a perfect man in our mind, and will not settle until we find him. We imagine him to fit all of our needs– whether he is rich and drives a BMW, or enjoys traveling with us and watching movies; whatever we want is what we think we can get.
Wrong. I’m not saying that it’s impossible to get what you want, or to find the man of your dreams. However, setting standards is one of the worst things a woman can do. Standards are good to an extent. When looking for a long term significant other, the obvious qualities are always wanted– honest, trustworthy, caring, loving, protective, hard-working, and of course, looks are always a plus. However, setting specific standards is only a setback. Who says the blonde guy won’t capture our heart quicker than any dark haired hunk can? Opening up our options to other things, and not closing our eyes immediately when someone who doesn’t fit our standards walks by is exactly what all women should learn to do. Sometimes, we think we like something. Than, something better, and unexpected comes in and sweeps us off of our feet. You don’t know what you’re missing. Expect the unexpected.
So, once we finally open up and find our significant other, there is another possible not-so-obvious problem that may arise– forgetting who we are actually dating. Why do we tend to forget who we are dating? Being in a relationship can be great. Getting along with another human, finding interests and hobbies in common, and enjoying each others company more than anything is exactly what we look for in someone else. However, why do we sometimes create a mask on our significant other?
In the beginning, the honey moon phase is something that most women don’t want to end– constant kisses and gifts, going out of the way to do cute things, spontaneous trips and dates and flowers, never ending phone calls and pet names, and the like. Once we actually start to get to know our S.O., we as women sometimes like to create a mold over their actual self.
It may be intentional; it may be unintentional. However, it should not happen at all. If your S.O. does something you aren’t too fond of, tell them. If it happens again, and again, and again, speak up; and if things aren’t looking so bright, think about it and possibly consider ending it– don’t try to change them. You can’t change a man unless he’s wearing diapers, and that’s a fact. If your S.O. isn’t what you thought he’d be, there is no reason we as women should try to make them out to be someone they are not. At the end of the day, true colors will always come out.
We imagine the perfect S.O. to do so many things for us, and meet all of our expectations, however, sometimes the right person for you isn’t what you imagined him to be. Trying to change your significant other may work temporarily, but like I said above, true colors always come out. Creating a mask over the man you’re dating won’t be good in the long run, for either of you. Forgetting the man you are actually dating can be a real threat to the relationship. Love should come natural. And with all things in life, there will always be good and bad times– but when you forget the person you’re dating, you may already be in too deep.
In a relationship, not only should we love our S.O. for who they really are, but also, the honey moon phase should never have to end. We should accept who we are dating as they are, and if we can’t love them in their purest form, we don’t deserve to love them at all. Why do you think that women tend to forget who we are dating?
Source: Why We Forget Who We’re Dating
Disclaimer: This was an original article written by me, seen first on GetGlam.com! I just thought I’d share it here as well. I’ve had the pleasure to work with the creator of Get Glam since May of this year. Get Glam is currently a sight full of beauty blogs, however coming in September is something even more! Set to launch in September 2016, GetGlam is going to be a site to tag and shop beauty products, to create your favorite looks from across the web. Saw a cute lip color on Instagram? Or a glittery eyeshadow you’ve got to have? GetGlam will be the place to find it all. Sign up today at http://GetGlam.com to be a part of their private invite, and don’t forget to read the blogs… and of course, follow on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! xx